A Series of Fortunate Events

Christmas- the celebration of The Gift, the incarnation, Emmanuel- God with us.

There is so much to say and where to begin, where do these thoughts really begin, when? As another year of my glorious interlude upon this earth winds down, I am amazed to find that what looks like a wild goose chase is actually forming into a series of fortunate events that are leading me where I'm meant to go. Although, that destination is a distant, elusive beacon.

While I was in Africa at the beginning of this year I read The Poisonwood Bible and while I knew it had effected me, I wasn't, and maybe still am not, fully aware of the shaking inside me. "The loss of certainty makes space for faith, like negative space." Ah, my faith has had room for growing this year. I am constantly reminded that the cost of discipleship, the gospel, is more challenging, more daring, more demanding of fearlessness, then anything I could imagine. Jesus is beautiful and terrifying. I was reminded again today that I am excited by the Way, my imagination and heart are re-baptized by His word.

Despite my internal weather patterns, the black days, the euphoric days and the crashing abysses, there were moments of this semester that were ordinary and subtly life-changing-- moments that made me think, I am galactic-ly blessed. (To name a few: Tea-time, "studying" in the lounge, the Den of Secrets, letters in my mailbox, bike rides, phone call rambles, reading the Bible aloud, night walks to the hill, meteor-watching, bike rides, MRI & Rich Young Rulers, the Indian summer and afternoons on Amanda's circle blanket, all the conversations in Common Grounds, collaging and all the times of wordless companionship, Thia hugs, growing in my understanding of non-violence, health, justice, loving people, and that first time I felt: I belong, and the RYR time of confession.)

The upside-down world, the kingdom of God. Today I was reminded of the Christ I was drawn too and the lifestyle I am called to renounce. I was reminded that it the life of God inside of me invades everything. Terrifying and beautiful.