Remembering

Thoughtful conversation:

[Friend:] He said he would not believe until he had placed his hands in Jesus' side and hands (Peter)

then, Jesus appeared to him, and asked him and all he said was "My Lord"overwhelmed with awe and love. I think sometimes it's like that for me, with all of the intellectual mess
and questions and discussions and doubt and politics of the church- then in such a simple way He reveals himself, and it's like that... suddenly there's a softness and all you can say or think is "My Lord!"

[Me:] I think the jealousy of God is a really wonderful attribute that we don't pay enough attention too. If God is jealous of our affection, our attention... then He's jealous of our communication too. So of course He is willing to speak to us more than Satan, more than our feeble brains filling our heads with our weaknesses, more than our flesh... He is jealous of us. And that's amazing. We're wanted and pursued by Him... if only we tune our hearts into that. I want that constant communion so much deeper, because its there- its like a radio channel always going on, but I just have to tune to it.

home?

Yesterday, I met with the leaders of the International missions team at my church. I immediately felt so welcomed and cared for (I've only been attending there a year with living in Portland in the middle so I don't know many people there.) Jim & Carol Gibbs walked me through some steps for preparing my heart, getting my world-view shaken again, and setting up a home team. It is a huge encouragement to have their support now and to find my fit in the local church. After all my uprooting - living in Texas, Hawaii, Maryland, Montana, Oregon, and a summer in Brazil... I feel roots again-- that will last the six months I am gone.

God does funny things- their house church (small group) is switching to Tuesdays which was when my African Dance & Culture class was supposed to be and I was disappointed by that. Tuesday, two hours before my class, it got canceled so now I can go to the home group and get more involved with the church here for the next six weeks... AND I'm still going to take a dance class.

Also, I found out more about my schedule/team in Uganda. They'll be fifteen students from Uganda, Tanzania, Sudan, Nigeria, South Africa, and the USA. For the first three months from 8am till 4pm every day I'll be learning & putting into practice development skills and doing outreaches in the area working with the community. Besides the development activities we'll also be preaching! Ahh! I am so excited, as it approaches the feelings grow that I both, have no idea how crazy this will be-- and will see again just how near God always is.

"I'm not an English garden."

Just forty five days till I depart.
These days are rich with life.

Twisting messy wind dried hair after rainshine leads down golden purple hued train tracks, and the tip tops of trees glow with light, white stallions rear up in clouds and race across an indigo sky, puddles reveal upside down skylines and the sky changes dresses like an insecure girl from magenta to scarlet, and giving up to rose. Old fields that swim with childhood memories, growing up with me-- the ordinariness of softball and soccer games, of first loves and friendships, of a summer job fading into the cool autumn , blankets and cups of hot cocoa-- memories lively as ever. Candle-lit picnics, framed knee to knee, with jeera, masala, and curry spiced tongues, mint leaves on water, autumn leaves in our hair, and the scent of fresh bread baked into our skin as night awakens and the storm rolls out.

and thoughts are heavy, pressing inward to shape my heart.