clear head, cloudy skies

the noisy language of florescent lights
unnatural and unappealing,
adds unnecessary ugliness
to these thoughts already pacing cramped spaces.

the noise, noise, noise
as it gathers into static between us
I can spread it with my fingers
swat at it like these summer mosquitoes

agitation evolves in each step
I stomp, I kick, I slam the door
I pluck the flowers and pull the grass's hair
all these signs of inner shouting
as I grow quiet here

you remember these things much different than I
much better.
you see much further, you look out beyond
etching a map for me
while I throw rocks in the pond

I turn up the noise to fall asleep
for you are too difficult to listen too
you dawdle, you whisper,
you are.
and your patience wears on mine

i want you to be louder.
I hide with the skeletons in my closets
so you'll be forced to call me out.
to find me out.
for at moments I can not stand your unknowns.
and that reaps my desperation to know you.

I do not want to wait in these rooms.
I do not like these clothes.
I do not want to be known by these names.

You breath. You dabble. You pause.
and I can not stand your stillness
for it strips off layer after layer.

You hold secrets I search out,
You speak of things above, beyond me,
things I will never figure out.

You wear on me,
with intolerable need.
with astonishment. with wonder.

"You are the sign. And You are the wonder."
and it is too much for me.
the new life stretches within me,
never content at the limits I relent to,
unsatisfied with the tiniest replacement
the smallest reliance on any other

His jealousy will not be denied.
this is a burden and a fire.
this is a baptism and a desert
this is a delight and a terror
this is beauty and holy fear...
the Uncreated One calls out: come.
"and whom have I in heaven but You?
and on earth there is none I desire besides Thee."