its me and the moon, she says.

i started thinking about this year, its almost over. im not sure how i feel about it. a lot of this year was difficult. but, it was pretty joyous too.

this year i:
x told a boy i was in love with him. (silliness.)
x lived in montana, brazil, and maryland.
x forgot how to smile, and remembered.
x experienced two of the best weeks of my life.
x learned a lot about trust.
x learned it was okay to cry in front of people. (thank you)
x lived. loved. grew.
x embarked on a new adventure (well, i will at 8am Saturday morning.)

alice in wonderland-esque.

i remember watching the sunrise on a mountain on my birthday, and it feels like i hardly blinked from that moment. I'm getting older, I feel younger. Tonight I feel like i'm in highschool. It's hard to describe what that means to me. I envy people who went to regular highschool. who did all those things you watch in tv shows and movies. homeschoolers. we've managed to not share a 12-year experience with 95% of our generation. and yet, i didn't miss any of it.

i had a lot to say, it being 3:25am and all, I always do. but, it all seems like the kind of things you speak in whispers, not click out in tiny pixels. I want to lay outside on my back patio and look at the stars and breathe out tiny halos of frost. I want to remember how much this moment and eternity matter.

i'm just the kind of person that keeps a lot inside. i have to, because i'm constantly thinking... i don't think that'll change.